Not-so-Scientific Method
by StreetsIsCold
Summary: It's been a boring day of studying for Akko. So boring that she's even taking Sucy's offer to have her test a new mystery potion into consideration. Erotic hilarity ensues. [AkkoxSucy]


A.N.: Hey everyone! It's your writer, your best friend, and your imagination witch, me! Little Witch Academia is a great show—what is Harry Potter had no Y chromosomes and was also an anime? Yes please! Akko and Sucy are the best pairing, expect a follow-up chapter with some smut in the future.

Chapter 1: Co-Dependent Variables

"Akko." Sucy spoke up from the desk abruptly, "I need help with testing." Akko's responsive sigh was loud and bore a hint of a growl.

"What kind of potion is it?"

"I can't tell you. That would give me imperfect results." Sucy said flatly. Akko weighed her options, shocked she was even considering it.

On one hand, letting Sucy test serums on her never, EVER went in Akko's favor. One the other, she'd take just about any excuse to get away from her textbook right now. Her eyes had begun to glaze over and read lines in redundancy. Plus at least Sucy'd had the decency to ask her this time instead of pouring it into her tea.

"Fine." Akko flipped the textbook closed and swung her legs over the side of the bed, holding out her hand. "The weekend's just started anyways, that'll give any awful side effects some time to wear off."

"I think I'm legally obligated to tell you there's a marginal chance some of them won't ever wear off." Sucy responded without looking up, pulling a clipboard closer to her. "I have to take a few notes before I give it to you, so just hold on." Akko looked at the various potions on her desk, wondering which one it would be. One in a large flask had the exact color and consistency of tar. She really hoped it wasn't that one. "What phase of the moon is it?"

"Half." Akko answered; a discussion in her earlier Thaumatology class had brought up the same thing.

"Not ideal." Sucy said, writing it down, "When was your last menstrual cycle?" Akko narrowed her eyes.

"What kind of potion is this again?" Sucy looked up at her with those big, apathetic eyes until Akko finally caved. "Around the sixth. I thought you were on my schedule, Lotte is."

"I'm not." Sucy remarked, writing the number down on her clipboard. "Can you take your temperature?" Extending her wand, Akko placed the tip to her forehead and stuck out her tongue, concentrating before the wand came back green.

"Normal." Sucy checked a box on her flier.

"Are you sexually active?" Akko, busy balancing the bridge of her wand on her upper lip, almost fell off the top bunk, glaring at Sucy as she steadied herself, cheeks glowing.

"What kind of question is that!?"

"A 'yes or no' question. Though I suppose saying either 'true' or 'false' would also give me something to work with." Sucy said, poking her chin with the tip of the eraser and distractedly uncorking a nearby flask to let a butterfly-shaped cloud drift out the top. "Now hurry up and answer." Akko didn't, staying stoic in the face of the question. "You don't have to test this if you—"

"No." Sucy tapped her pencil against the flyer. "Wait…" She looked back up to see Akko looking down at her fingers, mouth trembling guiltily, "Does…erm-you know… touching yourself…count?"

"If it did, I would have already checked 'yes'. You're not exactly quiet." Sucy answered flatly as Akko's face lit up, her body flopping back down on her pillow in embarrassment. "Also I do most of the laundry since you're too lazy."

"Have I ever…woken you up?"

"Once or twice. You were having a very vocal fantasy about Shiny Chariot." Akko turned around to groan loudly into her pillow. "I'm not finished yet."

"Just fill them out with whatever you want." Akko said as she sat limp, face withdrawing from the pillow as Sucy quietly complied, deciding not to push her luck any further. The click of a pen retracting eventually roused Akko, the witch stretching herself out. "Since when have you been so organized about your-erm…"

"Testing?"

"I was trying to think of a nicer way to say 'unethical human experimentation'." Akko admitted as Sucy reached over to pick up the sample potion, looking at it from underneath and taking a couple notes.

"It's for potions class. We're supposed to make an original potion stable enough that we can potentially market it for people. That means re-trials, controls, documentation..." Sucy flicked the bottom of the test tube to try stirring up whatever was sitting inside.

"Geez! That sounds hard!" Akko admitted. Ever since Sucy had declared her major, her projects and classes had gotten more and more ambitious. Sucy had a natural talent for it, to be sure.

"To you, maybe." Sucy conceded, "The most stable result you've gotten from one of your potions was last year when you tried to correct the way it turned humans into toads, and managed to instead make it turn humans into frogs."

"Hey, that's uncalled for!" Sucy turned away slightly to hide a smile Akko managed to get a peek of, the grin mirroring itself on her own face. "So, why pink?" Sucy looked at the vial in her hand, which held a swirling, sparkling rose-colored mixture.

"I dyed it and added some effects. Our professor recommended it, clientele are more likely to come if your product looks appealing." She paused to write something else down on her notepad. "I'd need to distill it to make it naturally look and taste nice, but that takes too much time for the test batch."

"So...what did it look like originally?" Asked Akko, leaning further in, as though to see the potion's true colors peek through the disguise.

"Remember that time you stepped in the pond in the forest?"

"Yyyyyeah."

"It was about the same color and consistency as what we scraped off your shoe afterwards." Akko's face twisted with disgust.

"Did you change the flavor?" She asked, receiving no answer as Sucy replaced the potion on the heating stand it was on.

"Come down here, I need to monitor changes after you take it." Akko swung off the bed, dismounting before taking a seat on one of the swivel chairs, watching Sucy pass her the potion. "Drink half." Akko was suddenly feeling the same nervous anticipation she got when she was getting a vaccination at a doctor's office.

"Waitwaitwaitwait." Akko stalled, "If you're marketing it publicly, it can't be anything weird, right?"

"Define 'weird'?" Sucy asked in a way that didn't prompt any more comfort. "It's not _permanent_." Akko sighed and took the potion, feeling jittery as she brought it up to her mouth before pausing again.

"So wait, what do I have to do when I take it again?"

"Just describe to me what you're feeling." Nodding in response, Akko brought it to her lips again before bringing it back down a second time.

"What's it made of again?" Akko asked, Sucy studied her.

"Do you really want to know?" It was a fair point. Bringing it up to her mouth, Akko found herself about to tip it over before stopping.

"Is it gross? Because I might want some water afterwards if-"

"Just take it already!" Sucy's incredible patience started to wane a little bit, her eyebrows knitting into a frown. Akko returned the dirty look.

"Okay, okay!" She threw back a mouthful the potion, needing to cover her mouth as her gag reflex instantly kicked in, trying to force the deceptively tasty-looking potion back out of her mouth before she finally managed to swallow. "Oooooohhhhh my god. It IS gross. It is VERY gross."

Turning to write something on her notepad, Sucy nodded. "Gross. Feeling anything else?"

Akko smacked her lips, unable to get the flavor away. "Regret. Disgust."

"Nothing else?"

"S'kinda warm." Akko admitted. Sucy looked down at her notes before showing a rare moment of hesitation.

"Eeehhh, take the other half." Groaning, Akko grabbed the vial again. "It's fine, just pretend it's the night after finals and throw it back." Akko let out a gasp.

"Sucy! Did you just make a joke!?" The corners of Sucy's mouth twitched again as she crossed her legs, trying not to look pleased with herself.

"Drink!" Looking a bit happier about the situation, Akko took the second half of the potion with a shudder, managing not to retch as much.

"Whew...not better the second time. Ooookay." Akko reached up to fan off her tongue, trying to air out the taste as Sucy tapped her pen against the paper.

"Anything?" Sucy asked, the fanning didn't stop, extending to the rest her face, which was starting to turn red.

"It's-it's a little hot." Akko reached down to start lifting her shirt, trying to air it out, her face shining with sweat as she reached up to wipe it off with her sleeve. "A bit of a rush...what is this anyways!?"

"Mmm-hmm." Sucy reached down to pen down a result. "Keep talking."

Akko's hand crept towards her abdomen, where it bunched up her uniform, making her swallow hard. Her eyes squeezed shut as her thighs clenched together. "Oooohhhhhh b-boy. That's new."

"What?" Sucy asked, readying her pen over her notepad.

"I-I am NOT telling you, I-" Akko's voice, already trembling, suddenly broke as her hand slid between her legs to feel a sudden wet patch on her skirt, prompting a surprisingly erotic groan as Sucy turned towards her note pad.

"Subject is aroused."

"DON'T WRITE THAT!" Akko shouted, as a thick scent graced the air of the small dorm. Sucy gave a complacent look in return.

"Subject is _very_ aroused. And experiencing abdominal discomfort." Sucy looked down at Akko's chest, studying it intently, causing the brunette's hands to clasp her chest protectively. "How are they feeling?"

"What're you-" Akko swallowed hard when her speech gurgled slightly and wiped sweat away from her face before turning away, her cheeks burning. "Tight, okay!?"

"Slight mammary swelling and tightness, pupils are dilated, subject is salivating and-" Sucy watched Akko's hand twitch and grind against her chair. "Seems to want relief." Suddenly the doorknob turned, both of their attentions drawn to the source of disturbance.

Lotte walked into the room before stopping dead and holding her uniform up to her nose. "Oh gosh!...what is that smell…Sucy, what are you brewing?"

"I think your question should be more along the lines of 'what are Akko's privates brewing?'." Sucy pointed out, "I overdosed her on fertility potion."

"You WHAT!?" Both Lotte and Akko asked at the same time, Akko glaring at Sucy before letting out a long groan, clutching her stomach again.

"It seemed all right at the time. I wanted something that could compete with medicine to cure infertility by making an artificial heat, like animals have, but apparently the effects are a bit more pronounced."

"A BIT MORE PRONOUNCED!?" Akko stood up, her knees buckling as she bit her bottom lip. "Oooohhh I swear to god, Sucy. As soon as this wears off I'm going to pound you SO hard."

"Bad word choice." Lotte said, wincing and shaking her head. "All right, come on Akko, you need to go to the nurse's office." Akko tried to back up before stumbling into the desk.

"Uh-uh. What do you think she's gonna tell me!? 'Sleep off the horny!?'"

"She has a point." Sucy chimed in, "I homebrewed this potion, there's probably a neutralizer for it, but that could have side effects." Pausing, she looked down between Akko's legs, "Though I admit, if something goes awry and your ovaries invert it'd make for a stunning first test." Akko reached over to give Sucy a kick square in the ribs, throwing both of them off-kilter as Lotte ran forward.

"Stop! Fighting isn't gonna solve anything!" She brought a hand up to her glasses, trying to rub the bridge of her nose as she reached down to air out the hem of her robes, relieving some of the room's sudden stifling humidity. "Look, Sucy, do you think something else would help? Like a cold shower?"

Sucy, whom the heat didn't seem to be affecting at all, shrugged. "It's worth a try. Her hormones are all overactive, so a bit of chilly water might slow down her endocrine system. Could be just what the doctor ordered. Or the alchemist, as t'were." Lotte hefted a hand under Akko to help her stand properly.

"Here...you take her, I need to crack open a window." Lotte offered, reaching towards a window as Sucy nodded.

"Please. I could get in trouble for negligence if the staff catches on that I've been testing on Akko and hotboxing the room with her lubricants."

"OH, AND WE WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO GET IN _TROUBLE_ NOW WOULD WE!?" Akko shouted, trying to throw a punch at Sucy's head, the taller of the two dodging it without much effort.

"I'll be back." Lotte watched them walk out of the room, concern evident in her eyes as she sat down to study Sucy's findings, a fresh breeze circulating the room and carrying out the smell of sex, replacing it with the lovely scent of a freshly-mowed lawn.


End file.
